When I started running marathons, I would get super anxious
beforehand and could not eat certain foods in the morning, purely because I
would gag from the jitters. The jitters started to decrease, but returned right
before my first trail marathon.
As I have raced more, I have learned that during racing, as with
any run, the unexpected can always happen. With the right prep, you can be
ready to tackle a race, even if the outcomes are not what you hope for. It has
been several races since I have actually experienced these jitters (Gore-Tex
Transrockies was the last time, but let’s face it, 6 days, 120 miles, 20,000 +
elevation gain and the general unknown, who wouldn’t be somewhat nervous?).
That brings me to this week. Ben and I signed up to do the
Colorado Marathon several months ago as a redo for me, since I was returning
from an injury last year when we ran. This week, Ben decided he will not be
doing the full and will be transferring his entry to a shorter race (still
working out this nasty injury!). I am extremely saddened that he is still not
100 % and that we will not be completing this race together! We are running
partners. Recently, while running in the evening together, we realized how well
we run together. It has become easy to sense what the other person is about to
do or how they are feeling without the use of words!
Even though I have done the bulk of my training alone, I was
optimistically hopeful that Ben would run. Without him running, I will be
racing alone. We have started all of our marathons together and have finished
all but two together. This time, I will start, and finish alone. This time, I
have the jitters! This time, I feel like there is even more unknown. No one
will be by my side to push me when I struggle and vice versa. I won’t be able
to share observations about the gorgeous scenery (we will be running in the
Poudre Canyon. Sure, there will be other runners, but there will be no Ben!
While I prepare for this race with mixed emotions and am in
fact, nervous, I am reminded that the “jitters” we experience are probably a
good thing. If I don’t ever get nervous before racing, I am probably overly
confident in my abilities or I am probably not prepared to push myself. The
jitters might be present in full force but I hope to be at the start line on
Sunday morning with peace and a smile on my face, excited to see what new
heights can be reached!
